PikaBot (pikabot) wrote,
PikaBot
pikabot

Please, sir, can I have sum moar?

Title:The King Of No Pants
Wordcount:530
Rating:G
Summary:Franky sings a song, Nami insists that he wears pants, hilarity ensues.

Franky whistled while he worked.

Well, not so much whistled. Sang, really. Loudly. And off-key. And he was more than a little unsure of the tune. Nevertheless, he sang.

"Oh, when a reindeer...loves a woman..." he crooned as he hammered a loose board back into place. They had just come through a nasty storm, and boards were loose all over the deck. It wasn't a huge deal, but if he left it there could be trouble later down the road. And it wasn't as though there were more pressing repairs that needed handling.

At this point he forgot the words altogether and resorted to a series of 'dum de dums' to push through to the chorus.

"Oh, see how they dance, feel the romance, that's what we all like to see," Franky sang. His hammering began to fall into the song's rhythm. "Watch how they twirl, him and his girl, I just wish that it was you and me!"

If he had been allowed to continue, in a moment he would have been dancing with his hammer. Fortunately for everybody, he was interrupted.

"That is it! I have had it!"

Nami stormed offdeck, her face distorted with rage. Franky stared at her wake for a few moments before returning to his work.

"Everyone's a critic," he said, and then resumed his song.

"Oh, when the seaweed...loves the harpy...dum de dum de dum, de dum!"

Nami burst on deck again, moving towards Franky with deadly purpose. Franky paid her little mind at first, until he saw what she held in her hands. The one thing he feared most. His one weakness. His archnemesis.

Pants.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you think you're doing with those?" he asked, dropping his hammer and holding up his hands defensively.

Nami stopped about six feet from him, her face seething with annoyance, held out the dreaded pants and said:

"You. These pants. On. Now."

"What's the matter, honey? You like what you see?" Franky responded, turning around and mockingly shaking his butt at her.

"This is not up for discussion. Put these pants on right now, or get the hell off my boat."

"Your boat!?" Franky exclaimed indignantly, "This is my boat! I made it!"

"And then you gave it to us, so put these pants on or start swimming."

For a moment, they glared at each other. Then Franky reluctantly held out one hand, and Nami tossed the pants over.

Instead of putting them on, however, Franky pulled out the connector tube that turned his forearms into a pneumatic cannon, and stuffed the pants down the barrel. Nami raised one eyebrow. Franky attached the tube to his forearms, faced the ocean, and pumped his forearms up to maximum capacity.

"Coup de Pants!" he shouted as he fired, sending the pants flying far over the horizon. He turned back to Nami and glared at her, as if daring her to respond.

After a moment, Nami threw her hands in the air and walked away, exclaiming something that might have been "Men!" Franky picked up his hammer once more, and resumed singing.

"Oh, when a captain...loves his whole crew..."

Cross-posted to one_piece, onepiece_fics, and fanfic100
Tags: fanfiction
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