PikaBot (pikabot) wrote,
PikaBot
pikabot

A whole load of bitchery



Dear Humberto Ramos:

Why can't I get away from you? It's like whenever I start to enjoy an X-Men related comic, you come along and shit all over it with your horrific art. Why the fuck are you so prolific? I hate your art, I have always hated your art, but you are fucking everywhere of late. I want to get away from your giraffe necks and poor grasp of anatomy and perspective, masquerading as a 'style'.

Please, just stop.

Thank you, Peter


Dear Jeph Loeb:

What the hell is wrong with you? What the hell made you think that anything you did during your run on Wolverine was fit for print? It was so bad, not even gorgeous Bianchi art could even begin to salvage it. Worst of all, you acknowledged Wolverine: Origins as canon, and that is the last thing we need. I was hoping for that festering shitpile to be disowned as canon, but it looks like that's not happening now, hmm?

Oh, and by the way, while it's sad that your kid died from cancer and all, whoring his memory out to sell more comics, like you've been doing this whole year? Not classy.

Please, just stop.

Thank you, Peter


Dear Dan DiDio:

I wish I could kill you with my hate. You are running DC comics into the fucking ground. Stop killing off or ruining every fun character. Do not even THINK about making unfortunate movements towards Miss Martian or the new Blue Beetle. OK? Is it so much to ask that your canon be SERIOUS BUSINESS 100% of the time? Oh wait, I forgot. You're still bitter because your horrible emo Superboy comic got canned because it conflicted with funloving Young Justice, and YJ was the bigger sell. Boo hoo, that was like ten years ago. Move the fuck on.

While we're on the topic: Stephanie Brown deserved better, you jackass. She was a fun character that played off of Robin and Batgirl extremely well. Maybe she wasn't Robin material(although I think she deserved her chance) but if she wasn't then you shouldn't have made her one, goddamit.

She didn't deserve to be tortured to the point of death by a two-bit Batman villain that nobody's ever heard of. She really didn't deserve to then die because Leslie Thompkins, in one of the biggest out-of-character moments I've seen in comics to date, refused to treat her for no reason. She definitely didn't deserve to have a fucking action figure made of her murderer, complete with the tools he used to torture her to death. It was a fucking horrible story, and you should be ashamed that you signed off on it.

But if she was going to die, I'll tell you what she did deserve. She deserved some fucking respect. She deserved to have Robin, Batman, and all of them fucking remember her. She deserved some manner of memorial in the Batcave, maybe not something on the scale of Jason Todd's, but something. She served as Robin for three months, canon-time, she should be given that a the very least.

She doesn't deserve Batman completely forgetting that she ever existed. She doubly does not deserve Robin, Tim Fucking Drake, her boyfriend, forgetting completely that she exists and then going bawwwwwwing over Superboy's body and trying to fucking clone him back to life. The only characters who apparently even remember that she exists are Oracle and Batgirl. That's it. And what she absolutely completely and totally does not deserve? You, Editor-In-Chief of DC comics, spouting off in interviews that she was 'never a real Robin'. Fuck your car, asshole, her dying words was asking batman if she was ever REALLY Robin, and just before she went Batman told her that she was. It was the only redeemable part of the whole sack of shit story. Just...fuck you.

I could go on, but what's the point? There won't be any positive change made at DC until you are fucking gone. I am COUNTING THE DAYS, and I don't even know when it'll happen yet.

Fuck you long and hard, Peter


Dear Joe Quesada:

Do not think that just because my hatred for your counterpart is enough to power a manned space station that you escape my ire altogether. For as bloated and incompetent as he is, you are almost as bad in your own way.

Please remove your lips from Brian Michael Bendis' cock and stop him running roughshod all over your universe. He is making bad retcon after bad retcon, and the stories he's producing are complete and utter drivel. Take him off the Avengers, he has no business writing them. That is not where his strength as a writer lies.

Please, give us a rest from the events. Just give me one solid year without turning my favorite ongoings into 'tie-ins' to the Next Big Event. Please.

And most importantly, pleas hold onto Gurihiru and never let go.

Thank you, Peter
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