PikaBot (pikabot) wrote,
PikaBot
pikabot

peri_peteia has this thing. No, actually, to be more precise, sainfoin_fields has this thing, and peri_peteia spoke of it, but the description Rawles gave is so perfect that IT IS WHAT I GO BY:

sainfoin_fields calls it MIRACLEHATE. It is what happens when you hate a thing SO MUCH that you cannot possibly conceive of hating it more and then yet somehow YOU DO. YOU HATE IT SO MUCH MORE. As if by the power of the WORLD'S MOST TERRIBLE MAGIC or DIVINE INTERVENTION.

I am convinced that everybody possesses within them the capacity for MIRACLEHATE. It is like an allergy, but from one's sensibilities instead of one's immune system. If you are lucky, you may never truly encounter the object of your MIRACLEHATE

Or you can be me, I guess, although I don't recommend it.

I present the object of my MIRACLEHATE: Masashi Kishimoto.

I. Hate. This man. I hate him SO MUCH. I hate his misogyny and his bullshit plot arcs that don't make any sense and his complete lack of grasp of the concept of pacing in any shape or form and his inability to remain true to any theme, ANY THEME AT ALL.

I hate his inane attempts at writing politics and his failtastic world-building and the way his storytelling strategy seems to be to throw a lot of shit at the wall and see what sticks and his masturbatory Sharingan fetish.

OH AND I HATE HIS MISOGYNY. LET ME REITERATE THIS IN MORE DETAIL. I HATE THE WAY HIS FEMALE CHARACTERS - MANY OF THEM INTERESTING IN THEIR OWN RIGHT, AND DESERVING OF A PLACE IN A FAR BETTER CREATOR'S CAST - ARE CONSTANTLY, POINTEDLY, AND DELIBERATELY SHOVED ASIDE SO THE CHARACTERS WITH THEIR MALE COMPATRIOTS CAN BE PUSHED INTO THE LIMELIGHT. I HATE THE WAY SAKURA SPENT ALL OF PART ONE STANDING IN THE BACKGROUND HOLDING A KUNAI, AND SPENT MOST OF PART TWO UNCONSCIOUS WHENEVER A FIGHT WAS HAPPENING. I HATE HOW FEMALE CHARACTERS ARE JAMMED INTO THE ROLE OF 'HEALER', NO MATTER HOW MUCH OR LITTLE IT MAY SUIT THEM (HINATA? OKAY. INO? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU ON?). I HATE HOW YOU CAN COUNT THE NUMBER OF DEVELOPED FEMALE CHARACTERS WITH BACKSTORY AND SHIT ON ONE HAND, AND IF YOU DO THE SAME WITH GUYS YOU WOULD RUN OUT OF FINGERS AND TOES. I HATE HOW NARUTO AND SASUKE BOTH HAVE FAMILIES THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO THE STORYLINE, EVEN IF THEY ARE SORT OF DEAD AT PRESENT, BUT AS FAR AS WE KNOW SAKURA HAS NO PARENTS, BECAUSE WE'VE NEVER HEARD A FUCKING WORD ABOUT THEM. I HATE ALL OF THIS SO. MUCH.

And it seems like no matter where I go, Naruto-wise, there is always something to remind me of how much I fucking hate this man! THE MIRACLEHATE IS ALWAYS THERE. LURKING. WAITING FOR THE MOMENT TO STRIKE. I read a new chapter and BOOM, MIRACLEHATE. I re-read an old chapter and BOOM, MIRACLEHATE. I look up some detail on the Naruto Wikia and BOOM, MIRACLEHATE. I look up anime screencaps for iconning and BOOM, MIRACLEHATE. THE RAGE IS ALWAYS SIMMERING JUST BELOW THE SURFACE.

And there is this bizarre DISCONNECT between the man and what the man has created, because although I loathe Kishimoto to the very core of my being, I like Naruto! I like what it could be, I like a good deal of what it is, and I mourn for its lost potential on a daily basis. THIS IS MY DILEMMA, OH FLIST. There are many people I wish would read Naruto so we could meta and RP and go off creating fanon together because Naruto has a wicked-awesome cast and potential. BUT I CANNOT IN GOOD CONSCIENCE RECOMMEND IT TO THEM, because reading the manga is like A NEVERENDING STRING OF DISAPPOINTMENTS, LIKE A LARGE GROUP OF SLEDGEHAMMERS RE-ENACTING A TWISTED VERSION OF THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE ON MY KNEECAPS.

Would you like to know what made me realize that I possess true MIRACLEHATE for Kishimoto? Let me tell you. It is this minor, insignificant scene at the end of the entire SASUKE IN A BUCKET arc, which I was rereading because I was bored and wanted to see is Sakon/Ukon's powers made any more sense on a third re-read (surprisingly, they did!).

So everybody who looked dead is actually alive, etc etc, and being tended to by Leaf medical guys. And there's this scene with Kiba and Akamaru and Kiba's hot sister where she looks Akamaru over for serious injury and says that he'll be fine. Innocuous, it seems, but this time my eyes fell on a word that I guess I skimmed before or something:

Vet.

Kiba's hot, badass-looking sister. Is a vet. To wit: A healer.

The instant my brain made that connection, it was like a fucking fire went up behind my eyes and I saw fucking red and I raged like never before. IT WAS COMPLETELY AND UTTER DISPROPORTIONATE TO THE ACTUAL IMPORTANCE OF THE REVELATION, but that matters little in the face of MIRACLEHATE.

This was not a stunning new revelation or anything! The fact that Kishimoto is a sexist fuckface is not news! I have known it for a very, very long time! BUT YOU SEE? MIRACLEHATE. JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU CANNOT HATE SOMETHING ANY MORE, IT PROVES YOU WRONG. THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER LEVEL TO MY HATE. ALWAYS.
Tags: kishimoto hates me
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