I'm sitting in my room, tyring to get some sleep, when my brother bursts in, irritated at not being able to visit his Chickensuit site any more.
My brother found a website where a guy in a chickensuit sits there and does whatever you message him. My brother found this extremely funny, and so he frequented it quite often. It was a completely innocent site, nothing wrong with it whatsoever.
Leave it up to my Dad to invent something.
When I asked my brother why he wasn't allowed to go to it anymore, he said that my father said 'What if someonme told the chicken to take his clothes off?'
Now my first thought is 'OK, NOBODY could be that stupid.' I mean, that just defies description. I mean, for one thing, this is the INTERNET we're talking about here. He's probably already been hit with thousands of sexually-based suggestions at this point.Not to mention that he is under zero obligation to follow through on ANY suggestions. And, even if I'm talking out of my ass on the last two points, my brother's not gonna see anything he hasn't seen before. On himself.
So I go downstairs and ask my father to explain his actions. First he said 'Well, it's a stranger on the internet, and you're sending him messages and he communicates back...' before I promptly shot that line of thinking down. I simply said 'Dad, so, they're secretly having deep and meaningful personal discussions by telling him to do stuff and watching him do it?'
Clearly realizing that I can dig out of his bullshit faster then he can pile it on, he abruptly switches gears. 'You know, on the internet, there are websites where you have pretty ladies on webcams, and people tell them to take their clothes off and touch-'
At this point I cut him off with the most versatile argumentative phrase-'So what?'
He then muttered something about 'Not being comfortable with the whole concept' and told me to go away. I obliged, but I felt I had struck a powerful blow against stupidity in general.
Webcam sites can be used pornographicall, that is true, but they can also be used non-pornographuically. Because you disapprove of the one does not mean you have to disapprove of the other. This website and a porn webcam site are so different that there is almost no similarity. By his logic, we should ban baseball bats because they can be used to beat someone to death, or keep our kids from reading Nintendo Power because Playboy is a magazine. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
With almost any parallel one can draw to this sort of event, anyone in their right mind would shrug it off. But no, not with the internet. The internet is the unhealthy realm of pedophiles and child porn and pornography and serial rapists and webcam girls. Jesus Christ, grow a brain.
I'm no genius, but it's clear this man did not kick in ANY chromosomes regarding the development of my brain.
POSTPRODUCTION NOTES: I actually just foundout that that site's part of a Burger King ad compaign. My face is kind of red at that moment, but I'm letting the rant staty. 33% because I spent 10 minutes on it, 33% because that fact makes my dad look like an even BIGGER prick, and mostly because it's a good rant.