PikaBot (pikabot) wrote,

I read a lot of different stuff. I'm a bit of a One Manga whore; as soon as I think I'm free of my Archive Binging tendencies for the time being, I'll spot an update on a manga with an intriguing title, and off I go again.

Many of these are terrible, terrible manga, which should have never seen the light of day. Many of these are mediocre: they're all right, but nothing special. Some few of them are actually brilliant, and I read the whole archive and hungrily await more.

It is extremely rare, however, that a manga (or any form of media, really) will actually make me violently angry. Bitter Virgin is that manga.

OK, first things first. The art is a little off. What's the deal with that guy's arm? And holy shit look at his eyes in the third panel. It's not awful but it's a bit weird-looking.

Now, if you click that second link in the paragraph above, you will be introduced to Suwa Daisuke, Our Hero. As you can see, Daisuke thinks that he is big shit. He's a ladies man (or, at least, as much of a ladies man as one can really be in high school), who has his eye on every girl in the school...except, for some reason Aikawa Hinako. And what makes her special? Well, if you read the next two pages, you see that it's because he can't stands girls who 'pretend to be sweet virgins'. You see, he tried to give her a thrill by touching her hair (because apparently he's hot enough shit that he can do that), but she reacted ungraciously. How dare she!

Yeah, I like this guy already too. But no fear: he actually turns out to be even more of an asshole than it thus far appears.

We quickly learn more about him: that he's a great cook, that people like him for some reason, and that he looks down on all of them for living in a small town. No, really. Never mind that he grew up in the exact same town, and thus has as much claim to the title of 'hick' as they do.

So, he shirks his chores (or something, it's a bit vague) by shaking his friend and girlfriend off by claiming to have business in a nearby church...which he spread stories about being horribly haunted when he was in middle school. SO his plan is just to hang out inside until they go away, and then make his way home.

But wait! Here comes Aikawa, throwing a monkey wrench in his plans! She walks into the church and, seeking to avoid detection, he hides out in the confessional. He then impersonates a member of the clergy.

Back in the 1600s that would have gotten him hanged. I have never before been so ungrateful for the separation of church and state.

So, she asks to confess, even though she isn't CatholicChristian. He thinks 'OK, whatever, it can't be that big of a deal' and then tells her to go ahead. And she drops a bombshell on him:

"When I was in Junior High I was sexually abused by my step-father. I got pregnant, and then had an abortion."

...well, shit. That sure wasn't what he expected. But wait, there's more!

"My mother refused to help me, and my step-father's violence continued. I got pregnant again...one year ago I gave birth to a boy, and put him up for adoption."

But wait, there's even more! As a result of this horrific ordeal, she's now incapable of having any more children. And she wants to know if it would be alright for her to celebrate her boy's birthday.

I...what...uh...OH JOHN RINGO NO

Our Hero has one of his few sympathetic moments, after which he assures her that yes, that's totally OK with God and she leaves.

Now, his initial reaction to this does lend hope that despite his douchebag personality, and the minefield-esque subject matter, this could actually be something pretty decent. He freaks out. He doesn't know what to do with this new knowledge. He goes through a period of denail wherin he convinces himself that she was making it up for some reason...until he accidentally spots her C-section scar, which he recognizes from his own mother, and realizes that it was all true.

So he goes him, churning it all in his head, getting his head stuck on this song she said she likes...pointless garbage. And while he's sitting in his room mulling all of this over, and what is the conclusion he comes to? That she should get a boyfriend.

No, really.

But no, Our Hero does it one better! He muses dramatically about how he wonders what sort of guy she could come to like (Read: IT'S ME! IT'S TOTALLY ME! I'LL TOTALLY MACK ON HER AND THEN THE HEALING POWER OF MY COCK WILL FIX HER RAPE PROBLEMS!)


Also, can I bring up the art again? These people look like flattened whales. WHY THE HELL ARE THEIR EYES SO FAR APART?

OK, so, Our Hero's intention to bang the traumatized rape victim as depicted above, was enough to make me want to throw my laptop across the room. However, some fans of the series persuaded me to give it another change, and I begrudgingly picked it up again and read the next ten chapters. This was a mistake.

First, we discover that for some reason, Aikawa now has no problem at all talking to Suwa! But only Suwa. Everybody else still freaks her out. Our Hero is as confused about this as we are, so he leaves a note in her locker asking what the deal is (helloooo, Mr. Tactful!). And he gets a note back in reply: Suwa-kun is special.

Well, no shit. Everybody else with a Y chromosome terrifies you, and he's right as rain, he's pretty obviously special! The question is why, and we shortly get an answer to that too. It's because She overheard him saying in class that he'd pass on her. Remember that, from the very beginning? So, since she heard that, she knows he's not interested in her, and so isn't a threat to her, so she isn't afraid. Ah, that makes sense.

...no, wait it doesn't. What the fuck! I call shenanigans! First, HOLY SHIT WAY TO JUST SIDESTEP FROM POTENTIALLY INTERESTING DRAMA. If you want to write a love story between a love story between a traumatized rape victim with a fear of men and the poor bastard who learns about this, then by all means go ahead and do so. I've heard much, much worse story concepts. But when you do so by providing him with a Get Out Of Terror Free card? Lazy as hell writing. It offends my sensibilities almost as much as my second objections, which is...

FEAR/ANXIETY DISORDERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! Hell, regular fear doesn't work that way! It's an irrational thing! Rational argument, much less one as flimsy as this, is not going to just get rid of it that easily!

But as much as it frustrates and offends me, Suwa magically and effortlessly gaining her trust is a plot point, so I have no choice but to soldier on. What does Our Hero do now that he has obtained her precious comfort and trust?

Whine about how he's now off-limits for her romantically.

You see, she only lets him in because she thinks that he's disinterested in her in terms of bangability. If he gives away to her that he actually does want to bang her (for her own good, of course!), she'll be afraid of him again! What is he to do? At this rate, he'll never get into her pants! Can't you feel his pain!?

Yeah, me neither. Say it again with me...


And he doesn't just say this once; he bloody harps on it.

I could really go on and on, describing for example the pointless, artifical and cliche drama arising from simple accidents which have him freaking out without ever checking to see if she had a problem (she didn't), or what a pointless, contrived plot device his crazy yandere girlfriend is. But really, all I would be doing is prolonging my own suffering.

Now, to give it credit where it's due, it's not all bad. The flashback chapters relating to her ordeal manage to be horrifying and explicit without being exploitative, which is a difficult tightrope to walk. If the rest of the manga was like that, then it would be pretty awesome. This is not the case, however, and that's not even near able to compensate for what a massive douchebag Our Hero is, or how insultingly unrealistic and sogjkshogihso I hate it so much.

And the worst thing is that for some reason THIS SHIT IS THE NUMBER FOUR MANGA ON ONE MANGA! It is competing for place with One Piece! ARGH WHY!
Tags: anger, bitter virgin, fuck fuck fuck, holy shit what an asshole, i hate this manga, ranting and raving
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